Teaching children valuable lessons about character can be hard. Our instincts are to naturally shield our children, to protect them from any pain or sadness. Unfortunately, this does not help children develop into strong and healthy adults. Furthermore, no matter how much we try to protect them, children are going to experience failure, disappointment, and hurt.
If your child is experiencing any of these, this is a great opportunity to help them learn to be resilient. Maybe they were upset by a friend, or perhaps they did poorly on a test. Maybe a trusted adult let them down, or maybe they even are facing some physical pain such as injury or illness.
One of the greatest things about children is how quickly they bounce back all on their own. However, a child can appear to have forgotten all about some past hurt, but he may have not have dealt with the upset it to the point that it could return as an issue much later in life. Take the time to learn what your children are going through, and show compassion for all of their trials. They may seem insignificant to you, but remember that children have a much different perspective in life. Perceived injustice, for instance, will seem profound to a small child who has not yet learned that life is often unfair.
If you try to stay aware of any disappointments in your child’s life, you will be better equipped to help them overcome whatever struggles they go through. Teach your child to persevere, to keep pursuing whatever goals he has set for himself. Teach your child to repair a friendship with a person who has let them down. Remind the child that if he or she does poorly on a test, they may remember to study much harder next time. Make sure that the child knows that if someone lets him down, it is not their fault, and do not let it make him untrusting or overly guarded. If the sports team loses a match, remind your child that they can win the next game. However, take care not to seem dismissive. Resilience is about how you move on once you are hurt, but it does not mean that you ignore the pain.
It is important that your child understands that it is okay to experience feelings of disappointment and sadness. With your guidance, your child should learn that with confidence and positivity that the future is good and they will eventually overcome and be able to move on.
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