At the moment I am on holiday – relaxing, playing sport, walking, taking time to think, to communicate with friends, to implement mindfulness for least 15 minutes each day and to thoroughly enjoying some “Me Time”. 

This blog is longer than normal, so please bear with me as I felt it was important to share with you!

This article below is not about forced solitude or how to deal with it. It’s not about being lonely or running away from the world into a cave in the mountains. Rather, solitude is an exercise of nurturing your state of mind to achieve interior freedom. Read on to discover the many advantages of solitude

Put your Life in Perspective!

One thing you may realise as you self-reflect is that the greatest amount of time and energy spent on an average day goes into maintaining healthy relationships. But when you’re alone, you can decide which ones are worth keeping and nurturing. Remember that a good relationship is one that allows both people involved to grow into better people. Ask yourself whether your relationships follow this wise counsel.

In the same way, consider your career. If you have a career goal, are you heading in the right direction? Have you been in a hopeless work situation for far too long because you’re afraid of change? Is there some other profession that you dream of constantly?

What are your priorities in life? The answer to this question is extremely important. For instance, you might think that nurturing your creative pastimes or your children are more important than your day job. If so, would it make sense to take the plunge and freelance, instead of continuing with your 9 to 5 job?

Learn to be Independent

Psychoanalysts say that the capacity to spend time alone is the mark of emotional maturity. So what is meant by solitude? Well, when you’re sitting by yourself glued to your cell phone, or browsing your Facebook account, it is not solitude.

In fact, in these days of hi-tech gadgets that enable people to communicate with each other regardless of where they may be, it’s difficult to find those who actually prefer solitude. But perhaps you will prefer some occasional solitude, once you see the many benefits.

For example, if you can’t find a companion to go to the cinema, do you still go by yourself? Of course, there’s no physical harm in going alone, is there?

You don’t have to be in the company of others in order to feel fulfilled and happy. In solitude, you like your own company!

Being alone often helps you to think deeper about the challenges in your life. And when you’re emotionally and mentally prepared, you’ll be better able to meet them head on.

It’s an empowering feeling to figure things out for yourself. You’ll begin to love yourself for your own competence and resourcefulness, and loving yourself is important if you want others to love you!

Get Those Creative Juices Flowing

Creative minds value solitude. Even people like Mozart and Brahms, who could concentrate on their creations when surrounded by people, could do so only because they were absorbed in their own thoughts. This was their chosen state of solitude.

However, most creative minds require physical solitude. In a special private space created by a lack of distractions from friends and lovers, plenty of growth takes place.

For instance, a creative writer always has the seeds of stories germinating in his brain. These take time to incubate and manifest, and this process requires contemplation. But how can you contemplate when you’re constantly with others or enslaved by the telephone and television? And then you might very well complain of the well-known “writer’s block!” In creative writing, you need time to be alone and do your research. Doing so will spring more ideas and you’ll be able to actually write!

Enrich Your Relationships

The benefits of solitude are many, yet society makes us to believe that interpersonal relationships are the answer to every problem. As psychologists point out, divorce and separation rates are on the rise because couples have to switch from office mode to romantic dinner without any breathing space in between. Does that sound familiar?

You need a break from your great love on a regular basis. Allow your spouse or partner to do the things they want. Spend time with friends and hobbies without complaining. The tighter you hold on to each other, the more hemmed in you’ll both feel, which may even lead to resentment and raging outbursts.

You both need your own space to do the good things you desire, so you can put your relationship in perspective. They say that love is blind, but it’s crucial for you to be able to see your beloved objectively. This means that you need to appreciate their positive qualities, but also be aware of their negative side.

Any marriage counsellor will tell you that couples who are always together are the ones who end up having the most violent arguments. The arguments may just be a subconscious attempt to get some time alone.

So, if you have breakfast alone once in a while, while your spouse or partner is still in bed and vice versa, it’s absolutely all right. Or if you go jogging alone, that’s fine too. Both of you need time by yourselves, but not so much that your lover feels lonely and neglected, of course. Try to find the right balance between solitude and intimacy.

Contemplate and Grow Spiritually

 

Solitude provides us with the opportunity for contemplation and self-reflection – both of which are essential for achieving spiritual peace.

In solitude, you can see the being within you – the True Self – that is waiting patiently to manifest itself. Being alone will show you the clouds of doubt and negativity that obscure this self. You will discover the way to dissolve these clouds, and then your bright core will shine through.

Transform Yourself

Solitude is the tool you require to transform your bad habits and negative emotions. Being alone helps you see yourself clearly, repent your mistakes, and usher in change.

The process begins only when you can pinpoint your negative qualities and shortcomings.

The next step is to think deeply about how you have affected others through your bad habits and unbridled emotions, causing them pain.

The final step is to desire change and make an effort towards it. If you have a strict and loving spiritual mentor who is honest with you, you are fortunate, because he or she can help you see the things you need to change.

Transformation requires a change in mental attitude, which makes solitude indispensable.

When you’re constantly in the company of others, there’s pressure on you to conform. For instance, it’s extremely difficult for people to abstain from drinking and smoking when they are surrounded by friends who indulge in these activities. Or it might be your habit to sit in front of the television, drink in hand. Observing yourself objectively will help you become a better person to

You can’t replace time. We all have 24 hours in the day, so plan your life wisely. Time Management helps you make conscious choices so that you can spend more of your time doing things that are important and valuable to you!

Please feel free to contact me with any comments or feedback

We are holding a workshop for “Celebrating Retirement” at Champneys Spa, Ashby de la Zouch on September 28^th 2019. We would love you to join us.

 This is training on lifestyle decisions and financial planning as you approach Retirement.