Authenticity and Vulnerability Go Hand in Hand.
I am writing this blog having recently worked with a client in her fifties who had “social media anxiety.” The client has given me permission to write this post, and we will call her Jane.
Jane is not alone but fearing how or what she said online caused a cycle of anxiety, a crippling fear of being judged, constant comparison and a pressure to maintain an image, which as we know can be fabricated online!
Often, being real or authentic means being vulnerable, but vulnerability can be a strength which can be handled with courage.
The fear and impact of social media in later life can reveal a weakness that I have (and maybe you do too!) or a lack of confidence in a certain area of your life
In mid or later life, social media platforms can be overwhelming. Most people only share their happiest moments online, so it is important to remind yourself that what you see is not the full story.
Jane felt social media was running her life mentally and emotionally. It was often the last thing she looked at before going to sleep at night, during the night or first thing in the morning
- Jane discussed comparison – feeling not good enough which encouraged negative self-talk, inadequacy and stress.
- Fear of judgement – worrying about how people would see her posts and how she should respond without criticism.
- Jane explained that she became addictive to viewing her social media platforms continuously. She felt compelled to check or see if there were likes or comments on her posts. This caused sleep disturbance
This is a short resume of our conversation and support for Jane to move forward from “social media anxiety.”
- How Jane could use positive self-talk – “social media does not define me.” Challenge the inner critic so instead of focusing on what others think, to shift attention to what is happening in the real life around her.
- To mix with positive people. This also assisted with her feelings of inadequacy.
- We talked about Jane’s many strengths and people she could trust or mirror.
- Practice self-compassion and self-care – exercise, mindfulness, setting boundaries.
- We made a specific plan on restriction of times for posting or checking on her social media.
Two weeks later we arranged a further zoom call to ensure accountability and that the strategies had been implemented.
Jane confirmed that the stress and pit in her stomach had greatly improved with the actions, above along with the specific breathing exercises. Jane said that she was sleeping well after the simple changes.
I would love to hear from you if you have any similar challenges in mid or later life.