I can remember our youngest son would push boundaries all the time. He would ask to be picked up from an event at 3am when the suggested collection times was 11.30pm!
On one occasion he asked me why we were so strict and I said it was a matter of loving and caring for him so deeply. After a short silence he asked if we could love him less, and then could he stay at until 2am!!!
Easiest way to set boundaries for ChildrenMany people will remember the battles to stay out for half an hour longer, or go somewhere that our parents thought was not appropriate. Setting boundaries for your teens is an essential part of parenting and a teenager’s natural instinct is to push the boundaries that their parents set.
Having firm boundaries teaches teens that they have responsibilities and that their actions have consequences. That sets them up to take a place in life where they know that there are limits and they cannot just behave in any way they choose without possible repercussions. So, as difficult as those battles with your teenager may be, it is vital that they know where they stand.
What you can do
1.Establish rules and clear consequences of breaking those rules.
2.Stick to the rules and back each other up. Teenagers are going to test As parents, you need to maintain a united front, and you must stick to the consequences when your teen breaks rules.
Give positive messages. Teenagers are going through a difficult phase of discovering who they are as people and there is often a big drop in their self confidence during this period. Parents can help by reinforcing the positives to remind their teens of their strengths and qualities. Tell them you love them as often as you can – and teens are never too big or old to need a hug.
Share responsibility for the boundary setting. Ask them what they think would be reasonable – be willing to listen to a reasonable argument, and give way on some things. Part of setting boundaries for teenagers is helping them learn to set their own boundaries.
Lead by example. Demonstrating acceptable behaviour is sometimes more important than simply telling them what to do. Teenagers won’t accept the “do as I say, not as I don’t.. Parents need to show that they live within reasonable boundaries themselves, and that they consider the consequences of their behaviour on other people.
I welcome your views so do contact me on –
www.gillmathias.com gill@goldcoachuk.com 01530 589216