Forgiveness is often defined as a deliberate decision to let go of feelings of anger, resentment, and retribution toward someone who you believe has wronged you. Forgiveness is usually believed to be a good thing. And while you may be quite generous in your ability to forgive others, you may be much harder on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes, but learning how to learn from these errors, let go, move on, and forgive yourself is important for mental health and your own well-being.
Forgiveness is hardest to give yourself
Learn more about why self-forgiveness can be beneficial and explore some steps that may help you become better at forgiving your own mistakes.
Challenges
So what is it that makes self-forgiveness so difficult at times? Why do people often continue to punish and berate themselves over relatively minor mistakes? Engaging in actions that are not in line with our own values or self-beliefs can lead to feelings of guilt or worse, self-loathing.
There are a number of reasons why self-forgiveness can be difficult at times.
Emotions
One difficulty is that you might not only feel guilty for your actions; you might also experience shame over your thoughts and feelings. Wishing others ill or harm, for example, might cause people to experience guilt. Anger, envy, lust, and greed are also emotions that can result in feelings of guilt or remorse.
Forgiving yourself for such thoughts can be difficult in part because sometimes we are not fully conscious of all of these feelings.
Benefits
It is accepted within psychology that forgiveness is a good thing and that it conveys a number of benefits, whether you have experienced a minor slight or have suffered a much more serious grievance. This includes both forgiving others as well as yourself.
Mental Health
Forgiveness can have a number of psychological benefits including reducing symptoms of depression, anxiety, and other psychiatric conditions. One major benefit comes from letting go of anger, which in turn leads to decreased stress. People who are able to lower their stress levels experienced better immunity and more energy as a result.
Physical Health
People who forgive might be less likely to experience some negative physical health symptoms and have decreased mortality rates. Feelings of anger and hostility have been linked to negative health outcomes.
Relationships
Anger, guilt, regret, and resentment can create havoc in relationships, so being able to forgive can go a long way toward improving your family life and friendships. The ability forgive is a critical component of successful social relationships. Being able to forge close emotional bonds with other people is important, but so is the ability to repair those bonds when they become fraught or damaged.
It is clear that being able to forgive others is essential for healthy social relationships, but being able to forgive yourself can also play a role in how you interact with other people in your life. When resentment is directed inwardly, it might cause you to isolate yourself from your loved ones or even project your negative feelings outwardly onto the people who care about you.
Being able to forgive yourself can improve your outlook and your ability to relate to others in a positive way.
Forgiving people who have hurt you can be challenging, but forgiving yourself can be just as difficult. It is important to remember that learning how to forgive yourself is not a one-size-fits-all process. It is never simple or easy, but working on this form of self-compassion can convey a number of possible health benefits. In addition to reducing stress, depression, and anxiety, self-forgiveness can also have positive effects on your physical health and relationships.
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